I remember the first time I really acknowlegded you as a father was after you gave me this very large wad of N20 notes and I went round the neighbouhood telling everyone "my daddy just gave me uncountable money" and promised to buy each one of them a car....lol.... Happy and silly childhood memories!
I remember how excited I used to get when my mum tells me we are going to Badagry; I would be on my best behaviour for days on end so that she doesn't change her mind- oh Papa, I was in love with you! How the butterflies used to flutter in my belly just at the mere thought of seeing you smile.
I remember the first time you introduced me to my siblings and we sat in front of that famous statue @ Primus to capture the moment. Our first family trip to Whispering Palms, Seme Boarder and all the other wonderful sites you took us to visit. You had so much knowledge about so many things you could have easily been mistaken for the tour guide.I admired your humility, the way you commanded presence and brought life even to a dead atmosphere. Those are some of the memories I hold on to very dearly.
Then I became a teenager and fell out of love with you, my first love. I wanted you to be like this dad I'd heard about or that dotting father I'd seen in a movie completely forgetting that you are an individual who only has his own experiences to go by and that there was no manual on being a father -one can only do it as he dims fit. I began to inwardly resent you and looked forward to the times when I could get away from you and your ways. I remember my friends at school used to say " your dad is cool" and I used to think "pfft! If only you lived with him".
Then came the maturation of my mind when I discovered the truth about life and began to really appreciate some of the great efforts and lengths you went to to unite us! The times we would all come together at Christmas, Easter and other Holidays; not because we really wanted to but because "Dokki Dokki" had exercised his "veto power"! How could I forget the lovely meals Mr Abel used to prepare for us it could have been compared to living in a palace! You tried your best to provide for us the best you could but at the time, I didn't think it was good enough. I remember how you used to patiently teach me Simultaneous Equation but gave up after 3years!! *Sorry dad, I still don't get it* :-)
When I moved to the UK, my mum would call me up sometimes as early as 4am to ask me "when was the last time you called your dad?". In those days, I couldn't understand why she bothered with you or worked so hard to make me maintain some sort of relationship with you but now I know- its simply because no one lives without making mistakes and its ok to make those mistakes because we learn from them. In hindsight, I am very grateful she made me make those calls albeit begrudgingly because these days, I would give much to hear your voice on the other end of a phone conversation.
I remember my 2006 Christmas holiday in Badagry and how I fell in love with you again; I loved your greying beard and the charismatic look that came with it, I loved seeing the dotting grandfather you had become to our Oluwatobi- a side to you I never thought existed! That holiday opened my eyes to the things I'd missed out on by holding on to an emotion that ate me up inside and that you never even knew existed. I began to look forward to the very next time I would call you or you'd call me till that sad Tuesday night when I called you and you dismissively told me you needed to get some sleep. I knew something wasn't right so rather than bug you too much, I decided to pray for you. I was suppose to call you back at some point but I thought to allow you maximum recuperating time. Sadly, that choice was taken out of my hands as on the Sunday of the same week, 24th of June, 2007, you passed into glory. I cannot forget the accurately chosen text from 2Timothy 4:7 on your funeral service booklet that read "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith". It was indeed accurate for you because that is exactly what you did daddy. Everyone has an assignment on earth and I'm certain you gave yours the best you could.
Five years on, I still very much miss you and sadly regret those many years my love for you turned sour. I really didn't get a chance to tell you were loved and that I was (and still very is) proud of you. We continue to strive to make great achievements like you did and even much more. You'll be very proud of us and the life choices we've made. Your family continues to expand; you've gained 2 beautiful daughters and 3 wonderful sons and we are all well looked after daddy. You should see your grandchildren they are so beautiful and smart. Its obvious for anyone to see that they have something of your blood flowing through their veins. We will continue to make you proud and celebrate the wonderful life you lived. It is indeed a privilege and great honour to be a direct descendant of a noble man like you and I thank you for blessing me with these wonderful people I call my brothers and sisters.
Till be meet to part no more, have a wonderful night rest - Omo Oba ka ri ka sa le awusa, Omo Oba tin f'ase muti, Omo Oba jadi. jadi. jadi ara!!!!
I remember that fateful day in February just like yesterday. It was early in the morning and Babatunde wasn't feeling too well so we decided to come to Sister Biodun's house. You welcomed me with a loving and warm smile and instantly made me feel at ease. You made me macaroni with sauce and kept me company whilst Babatunde was resting. I was so scared for Babatunde but your composure gave me some reassurance that he will be fine and your smile reaffirmed this.
We were properly meeting each other for the first time and as the "sister-in-law", I was walking on eggshells around you praying really hard that my clumsiness doesn't get the better of me and as such, I didn't really "let loose" to say the least.
Little did I know that will be the last time I'll see you physically otherwise I wouldn't have been that way! I would have thrown my arms around you in a warm embrace, probably kissed you and asked you to be my best friend as the younger sister of the man I love and hope to spend the rest of my life with. You made me feel like we were friends and we hit it off straight away making small talks about having too many friends and the unnecessary pressure and pain they may bring. As a result of our rapport that day, I occasionally dreamed of days when I come to Nigeria or you come to the UK how we would go shopping together, go to the cinema, talk about life, relationships, and most importantly, how you could tell me more about your brother. However, those dreams were not to be made manifest as on the 7th of June, 2012, the cold hands of death stole those dreams away from me and left a gaping hole in the hearts of the Bankoles.
Oh! how I wept and fervently I prayed that God will return you to us! How I wished it was just a bad dream or a very expensive joke but God Himself who giveth, decided you were too good for this sinful world and it was about time you returned home to Him.
Three days later, Daddy, Mummy and your siblings are working so hard to come to terms with the loss of their baby sister whilst I, on the other hand, is struggling and is still bawling my eyes out like I knew you for more than an half-a-day and I cant help but wonder why this has happened to that beautiful family. So many unanswered questions run through my mind, so many "what-ifs" flood my thoughts. Your death has affected me in more ways than one; I keep wondering why I feel so affected by the death of someone I met only recently and I concluded that the possible reasons are these:
1- You were the same age as me and you had your whole life ahead of you
2- The Bankoles have become more than just family and naturally, when they hurt, I hurt but
3- Most importantly, I think your death makes me question the way I've been living my life and if I truly love and serve the Lord as I have verbally declared.
What keeps resonating in my head is- if Jesus called for me today, am I guaranteed Heaven? because one thing I know for sure is that you were a strong Christian and it was visible for all who came in contact with you to see your love and passion for Christ. I wondered how a young woman could love God and follow His precepts so boldly and without doubt or fear and I was envious. I can imagine that at that last minute when life was leaving you that you weren't scared because you know where you are going.
I remember the book you wanted to give me on preparing for marriage like you fully approved of me and your sweet and breezy voice is fondly remembered from the few times we spoke over the phone.
Oluwadamilola, you fought the good fight and you overcame the world. Many may think that in your short and beautiful life you had no impact but I know that if you touched no one else, you touched me in a powerful way and the way you lived your life is worth emulating. You are a role model to me in that regards and I cannot wait to tell your nieces and nephews about the wonderful person that you were. Your beautiful smile will forever be missed my darling sister and friend and when I remember you, I'll thank God for the wonderful angel He sent my way to keep me firmly grounded on the path of righteousness and to remind me that my life is not my own.
Continue to rest in the bosom of the Lord until that glorious day when we shall meet to part no more!!!
Adieu, Oluwadamilola Bankole, my angel, my sister, and friend!!!!
-Daddy's heart is broken but he is trying to be strong for you
-Mummy's misses you and loves you dearly. You should see how hard she's working on focusing on the good memories.
-Sister Eniola grieves for you
-Mr B is trying to be strong for the family
-You can't begin to imagine how Sister Biodun might feel right now
-My Babatunde is being a man but he terribly misses and loves you
-Temi, Nimi and Bayo will never forget their beautiful aunt, and
I, Oluwabunmi can only wish that if you are out there somewhere that you return to us but if all of these is real, I thank God for that wonderful day in Lagos because it is one of the moments that will forever shape my life.
Odaaro, Odigba, O d'oju ala!!!
Sun re o olufe!!!
